Feeling Like a Castaway

Psalm 13:1-2

How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? 2 How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart daily? How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

Many of you know that my wife suffers greatly and daily from persistent and chronic pain. As an amputee some may define this as phantom pain. But phantom pain is an affect that the patient still feels pain in a missing limb or feels as if the limb is still attached.

My wife suffers from what is actually referred to as ‘residual stump pain.’ Meaning that the pain is centered within the residual portion of the limb. It is possible that this pain is associated with severe nerve damage due to the traumatic amputation she experienced during the accident in 2004.

This chronic pain has not dissipated over time. Many doctors and specialists have attempted to provide treatments, but their best efforts, though greatly appreciated, unfortunately, have not yielded the desired results and have brought despair to both me and my wife.

In fact, the pain has gotten worse, and is a daily struggle for her, especially at night where she is unable to sleep. I say this not to whine or complain, but to draw out a reality that life can change in a moment without notice. I also want you to know, that I know God is and has been in control. I am just not unable to understand His ways.

Isaiah 55:9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.”

What we do during any life changing event, and afterwards, depends on how we respond to and rely on God. We can choose to cry in our beer and turn to hopelessness, or we can turn our hope to Jesus and pray with confidence that He and He alone can do what we or any doctors cannot do.

I have prayed and continue to pray for my wife’s healing. Many of our friends and family members also pray for her daily, and we are deeply grateful for all your prayers. Sadly, I must confess… I wonder if my prayers are being heard at times.

Like the psalmist, David, I sometimes ask the Lord, “How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? 2 How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart daily?”

You may feel like God is not listening to your prayers. You may feel like God has turned His face away from you and forgotten you.

When I begin to wonder if God is even listening to me, when I feel like a castaway on a deserted island, all alone, and silent, I look to the end of this 13th Psalm and am comforted by these words of David:

5 But I have trusted in Your mercy; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, Because He has dealt bountifully with me.

My wife could have given up a long time ago, and is often tempted when it is unbearable for her. But she looks to her faith in Jesus Christ, and knows deep down in her heart that one day she will be healed, new and complete.

Please remember this, God may appear to be silent in your most desperate times, but He is not blind to it and will help you in His time and His way --- IF YOU TRUST HIM and BELIEVE IN HIM!